it's time to go back
It's really more satisfying to blog here. So gaya gaya kay adi. I will post something here soon.
posted by toyourthink @ 4:42 AM
5 Comments
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
You are The Moon
Hope, expectation, Bright promises.
The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.
The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
posted by toyourthink @ 2:52 AM
1 Comments
Friday, January 19, 2007
New Look
Naks, new template. I chose this cause its the kind of color I would choose when I'm editing. I'm sick of Pfizer Blue.
Yesterday as I was driving with Joel, it was the first time that I drove without being crippled by fear. As in wala lang, let's go! I think I can do this alone na, although I will miss Joel's constant insults on my driving. Hmmmm. Fun.
Yesterday as I was driving with Joel, it was the first time that I drove without being crippled by fear. As in wala lang, let's go! I think I can do this alone na, although I will miss Joel's constant insults on my driving. Hmmmm. Fun.
posted by toyourthink @ 2:11 AM
0 Comments
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
2007
2006 turned out to be a pretty good year for Tracy. A lot of firsts and a lot of trials. Her Word for that year was HEALTH.
In January her fourth and last wisdom tooth grew and while doing so, it decided to make her useless until it was given proper attention. So to the dentist Tracy was off after 12 years of hiding. Of course her dentist, also the dentist of Joel her baby, must have thought “My Goodness, how can Joel kiss this woman?! Very dirty her teeth!” Total of 10 pastas and 1 extraction was Tracy’s first big expense for the year. This would jumpstart her expensive life of 2006.
On Feb 17, she was in Park Square in search for a Sun cellular application when suddenly she found herself in the cramped sales office of Slimmer’s World across the street. After being identified as “fat” in the body index/matrix, she left the room 15k poorer. Put together she only went for 1 month tops.
In March Tracy has rediscovered the wonderful past-time of watching T.V./DVD. She loooooooooves Arrested Development, Lost, and The Office U.K. Her cable service carried ETC this month so it was only then that she discovered Blind Date, Trading Spouses, Change of Heart, Biggest Loser, and all the trashy yet wonderfully entertaining T.V.
In July Joel left for the states for a little more than two months. This is the first time that Joel and Tracy will be separated for that long after being together almost everyday since 1995. It will also be Tracy’s first b-day without him since then, which would be weird because Joel always took care of her birthday celebrations. So she decided to spend her b-day dinner before he left. It was Dampa dinner with brother Jet and chums. Lots of things to eat.
For her salubong, her Arkeo family gave her a surprise treat. And because she always finds out surprises on her birthday, she saw her cake in the fridge before they could yell surprise. This turned out to be one of the funner birthdays she’s had. And on the day of her actual birthday, July 10, she spent it at home with her family. Its been a long time since she has done this. She’s always been celebrating her birthdays with friends. So this one has been very special.
After her birthday bashes, Tracy still had to fill up her Joel less days. So she enrolled in jarann………………. Guitar lessons. She became very very cool. She bought her very first guitar and it was a very handsome choice. That took up her Monday mornings for a while. Most of the songs she learned are old OPM from Eraserheads, which betrayed her age to her very young teacher. She also promises to go back to that soon. She has already been accused of not having followthrough. This of course is true, but she is really trying hard and promises to try harder.
In August, she thought it was about time to be a complete adult and decided she wanted to learn how to drive. On her first day and after ten years of her attempted driving in her old village street, teacher Jess decided she can handle going around SM Bicutan. After all there were only 12 vehicle types going in 17 directions in that traffic. That day is one of the happiest of her life.
In September Joel came home na. Yey! He makes her envious with stories of Madonna, Lion King, Stomp, A Chorus Line and many many other plays that Tracy would have loved to watch. Tracy finds this a little unfair. It sucks to be poor.
On the fifth day after Joel’s return to Manila, Tracy and her family had to face a very big test. Uncle Gozen got very very sick and they thought they were going to lose him. This was Tracy’s saddest moments of her entire life. But miracles do happen and after 3 weeks of being in the hospital and 2 months of complete rest at home, Uncle Gozen is in much better shape. The Sartes are very thankful and happy. She also would not have made it without the support of her baby who was there beside her all the way.
Rhea her half sister went home to visit daddy Gozen for 2 weeks. Because there was a 20 year age difference and because they never really lived together, there was never a chance to bond, except this time. Perhaps it was because Tracy has matured already but she found it very easy to relate to sis Ri. They soon found out the other was incredibly funny, and that they shared exact Gozen stories, only 20 years apart. Tracy took her out drinking, talking, drinking, talking. Rhea also loved Joel and found him very accommodating and entertaining, she says he is the only handsome fellow in Manila.
Rhea came and went a few times before. But this trip, Tracy felt very sad. She actually cried the day Rhea left. To Tracy’s think : “My sister left na.” It was a wonderful vacation and she hopes it will happen again. And oh did I mention that she is also very beautiful? :)
By the end of September her baby was given a wonderful break in his career. He was given the chance to do his first film format, short feature. This would be a first for all of Arkeo peeps, which also meant stress levels shooting up. This occupied most of Tracy’s time till end of October. All in all Tracy thinks they all did a kick ass job. She believes she will have a better career after this experience. So now if someone asks Arkeo if they’ve worked on film, they can say: “Bring It On!”
In December, a few chums aged 30 years in a span of 2 weeks. Because they enrolled in a very youthful hobby of ballroom dancing. Hee hee. SALSA! Vying for top in their class were Popie and Joel who were really burning the floor with their moves. Haay., it was a very very happy place for the girls. Most especially the lonely girls………..
Because also in December, there had been a major change in the chums dynamics. Good friends Drach and DSJ broke up. Very very sad. And because the chums are a fucked up bunch who have a difficult time coping to change, they have thrown ourselves into a state of sin. Meats, smokes, happy things, drinks, meats, smokes, drinks. During Joel’s birthday they we’re quite d drunk bunch that they suddenly found themselves in Rufo’s under extremely bad lighting. Really it is 1995 all over again. Geads, really lots of December events to live in sin.
There is one very special thing that was the result of all that sin, and that is Caye. For me, he is no longer the person beside Popie. How lovely.
Speaking of lovely, another lovely thing that has happened in December is Tracy’s……….. FIRST CAR! Kuya Jet called her at home and said “uuwi si Marvin dala yung mga Christmas gifts ko.” And then suddenly Marvin leaves her a key to a white Corolla parked in their garage. She calls kuya Jet sobbing. “Th-th-th-thank—yu-huh-huh-huh.”
On December 27 Tracy, in the middle of her pack decided to stop smoking. She is yet to see if she will be successful in this attempt but is praying very hard. Let’s keep our fingers crossed. That is a very late (in the year) but very strong HEALTH change.
In a nutshell - (like a Being Happy) :
Health wise this is what she achieved last year:
Healthier attitude towards money. – This is probably most important and most life changing. Life is better now in the Sarte household so now Tracy allows herself to enjoy the fruits of her labor. And baby Joel will now only keep getting kick ass gifts.
Eating healthier – This is happening in baby steps. She has given up the habit of iced tea and soft drinks. Water is not so bad after all. She has also been eating a more fibrous diet: More brown rice, wheat bread, cereals, and greens.
Better body clock – Being able to dictate her own working schedule, Tracy wound up with the lifestyle of waking at 12 p.m. and working till 3 a.m. Lately, Tracy forced a saner body clock and has been waking and working earler.
Oral hygiene – Never again the 12 year absence. Never. Also never leave home without floss.
Quitting Cold Turkey – This is the biggest and bravest effort by far and she is confident about how it will turn out.
They many not be ground breaking, but Tracy thinks it was fair enough. Maybe this year would be better. And for this year, her word is nothing less than…FEARLESS. – Tracy thinks this is self explanatory. So wish her good luck!
In January her fourth and last wisdom tooth grew and while doing so, it decided to make her useless until it was given proper attention. So to the dentist Tracy was off after 12 years of hiding. Of course her dentist, also the dentist of Joel her baby, must have thought “My Goodness, how can Joel kiss this woman?! Very dirty her teeth!” Total of 10 pastas and 1 extraction was Tracy’s first big expense for the year. This would jumpstart her expensive life of 2006.
On Feb 17, she was in Park Square in search for a Sun cellular application when suddenly she found herself in the cramped sales office of Slimmer’s World across the street. After being identified as “fat” in the body index/matrix, she left the room 15k poorer. Put together she only went for 1 month tops.
In March Tracy has rediscovered the wonderful past-time of watching T.V./DVD. She loooooooooves Arrested Development, Lost, and The Office U.K. Her cable service carried ETC this month so it was only then that she discovered Blind Date, Trading Spouses, Change of Heart, Biggest Loser, and all the trashy yet wonderfully entertaining T.V.
In July Joel left for the states for a little more than two months. This is the first time that Joel and Tracy will be separated for that long after being together almost everyday since 1995. It will also be Tracy’s first b-day without him since then, which would be weird because Joel always took care of her birthday celebrations. So she decided to spend her b-day dinner before he left. It was Dampa dinner with brother Jet and chums. Lots of things to eat.
For her salubong, her Arkeo family gave her a surprise treat. And because she always finds out surprises on her birthday, she saw her cake in the fridge before they could yell surprise. This turned out to be one of the funner birthdays she’s had. And on the day of her actual birthday, July 10, she spent it at home with her family. Its been a long time since she has done this. She’s always been celebrating her birthdays with friends. So this one has been very special.
After her birthday bashes, Tracy still had to fill up her Joel less days. So she enrolled in jarann………………. Guitar lessons. She became very very cool. She bought her very first guitar and it was a very handsome choice. That took up her Monday mornings for a while. Most of the songs she learned are old OPM from Eraserheads, which betrayed her age to her very young teacher. She also promises to go back to that soon. She has already been accused of not having followthrough. This of course is true, but she is really trying hard and promises to try harder.
In August, she thought it was about time to be a complete adult and decided she wanted to learn how to drive. On her first day and after ten years of her attempted driving in her old village street, teacher Jess decided she can handle going around SM Bicutan. After all there were only 12 vehicle types going in 17 directions in that traffic. That day is one of the happiest of her life.
In September Joel came home na. Yey! He makes her envious with stories of Madonna, Lion King, Stomp, A Chorus Line and many many other plays that Tracy would have loved to watch. Tracy finds this a little unfair. It sucks to be poor.
On the fifth day after Joel’s return to Manila, Tracy and her family had to face a very big test. Uncle Gozen got very very sick and they thought they were going to lose him. This was Tracy’s saddest moments of her entire life. But miracles do happen and after 3 weeks of being in the hospital and 2 months of complete rest at home, Uncle Gozen is in much better shape. The Sartes are very thankful and happy. She also would not have made it without the support of her baby who was there beside her all the way.
Rhea her half sister went home to visit daddy Gozen for 2 weeks. Because there was a 20 year age difference and because they never really lived together, there was never a chance to bond, except this time. Perhaps it was because Tracy has matured already but she found it very easy to relate to sis Ri. They soon found out the other was incredibly funny, and that they shared exact Gozen stories, only 20 years apart. Tracy took her out drinking, talking, drinking, talking. Rhea also loved Joel and found him very accommodating and entertaining, she says he is the only handsome fellow in Manila.
Rhea came and went a few times before. But this trip, Tracy felt very sad. She actually cried the day Rhea left. To Tracy’s think : “My sister left na.” It was a wonderful vacation and she hopes it will happen again. And oh did I mention that she is also very beautiful? :)
By the end of September her baby was given a wonderful break in his career. He was given the chance to do his first film format, short feature. This would be a first for all of Arkeo peeps, which also meant stress levels shooting up. This occupied most of Tracy’s time till end of October. All in all Tracy thinks they all did a kick ass job. She believes she will have a better career after this experience. So now if someone asks Arkeo if they’ve worked on film, they can say: “Bring It On!”
In December, a few chums aged 30 years in a span of 2 weeks. Because they enrolled in a very youthful hobby of ballroom dancing. Hee hee. SALSA! Vying for top in their class were Popie and Joel who were really burning the floor with their moves. Haay., it was a very very happy place for the girls. Most especially the lonely girls………..
Because also in December, there had been a major change in the chums dynamics. Good friends Drach and DSJ broke up. Very very sad. And because the chums are a fucked up bunch who have a difficult time coping to change, they have thrown ourselves into a state of sin. Meats, smokes, happy things, drinks, meats, smokes, drinks. During Joel’s birthday they we’re quite d drunk bunch that they suddenly found themselves in Rufo’s under extremely bad lighting. Really it is 1995 all over again. Geads, really lots of December events to live in sin.
There is one very special thing that was the result of all that sin, and that is Caye. For me, he is no longer the person beside Popie. How lovely.
Speaking of lovely, another lovely thing that has happened in December is Tracy’s……….. FIRST CAR! Kuya Jet called her at home and said “uuwi si Marvin dala yung mga Christmas gifts ko.” And then suddenly Marvin leaves her a key to a white Corolla parked in their garage. She calls kuya Jet sobbing. “Th-th-th-thank—yu-huh-huh-huh.”
On December 27 Tracy, in the middle of her pack decided to stop smoking. She is yet to see if she will be successful in this attempt but is praying very hard. Let’s keep our fingers crossed. That is a very late (in the year) but very strong HEALTH change.
In a nutshell - (like a Being Happy) :
Health wise this is what she achieved last year:
Healthier attitude towards money. – This is probably most important and most life changing. Life is better now in the Sarte household so now Tracy allows herself to enjoy the fruits of her labor. And baby Joel will now only keep getting kick ass gifts.
Eating healthier – This is happening in baby steps. She has given up the habit of iced tea and soft drinks. Water is not so bad after all. She has also been eating a more fibrous diet: More brown rice, wheat bread, cereals, and greens.
Better body clock – Being able to dictate her own working schedule, Tracy wound up with the lifestyle of waking at 12 p.m. and working till 3 a.m. Lately, Tracy forced a saner body clock and has been waking and working earler.
Oral hygiene – Never again the 12 year absence. Never. Also never leave home without floss.
Quitting Cold Turkey – This is the biggest and bravest effort by far and she is confident about how it will turn out.
They many not be ground breaking, but Tracy thinks it was fair enough. Maybe this year would be better. And for this year, her word is nothing less than…FEARLESS. – Tracy thinks this is self explanatory. So wish her good luck!
posted by toyourthink @ 11:06 PM
4 Comments
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
The ends and starts
On December 31 Cable Car will be closing. As Rachel of FRIENDS would describe it, or was it Monica? It is the end of an era. Now we're stocking up on Cable food that used to be such a staple in our diets. Goodbye cable rice and chicken burger, you will be truly missed.
Now on to new and more fun things. SALSA. Puta ang saya lang mag lessons ha. I swear the one hour could as well be 10 min. To my think, "Hello I just got here!" Ang saya saya niya ni hindi ko ma describe. Guitar lessons X 82. Of course I told my parents all about it, and they're so excited. Understandably dahil kapanahunan nila yan. And words niya ay: hay naku Tracy, pinagkakaguluhan ako dati ng mga lalaki, alam ko dahil ang galing kong sumayaw at ang laki ng boobs ko. Yang daddy mo, na in love ako diyan dahil ang galing sumayaw. Tinataas pa niya yung piston ng pantalon niya pag mayabang siya. The next day, my mom unearthed all of her latin cd's and that night she taught me a few moves while my dad watched. Kakainis. Had i picked this up a few years back, i could've danced with him. I could've fucking danced with him. Instead he's just watching me while telling me to please move my hips. But all is good, it was one hell of a night.
Now on to new and more fun things. SALSA. Puta ang saya lang mag lessons ha. I swear the one hour could as well be 10 min. To my think, "Hello I just got here!" Ang saya saya niya ni hindi ko ma describe. Guitar lessons X 82. Of course I told my parents all about it, and they're so excited. Understandably dahil kapanahunan nila yan. And words niya ay: hay naku Tracy, pinagkakaguluhan ako dati ng mga lalaki, alam ko dahil ang galing kong sumayaw at ang laki ng boobs ko. Yang daddy mo, na in love ako diyan dahil ang galing sumayaw. Tinataas pa niya yung piston ng pantalon niya pag mayabang siya. The next day, my mom unearthed all of her latin cd's and that night she taught me a few moves while my dad watched. Kakainis. Had i picked this up a few years back, i could've danced with him. I could've fucking danced with him. Instead he's just watching me while telling me to please move my hips. But all is good, it was one hell of a night.
posted by toyourthink @ 7:53 AM
2 Comments
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
4 months
Four months blog vacation. Truly busy bodies. From sickness of a father, to a homecoming of a sister, to Joel's first film. Hay, isa siyang whirlwind.
Sige lets trace the events. Mag daddy events muna tayo for today.
GREATEST FEAR talaga. But ok na siya. His appetite is back and can walk a bit, short distances. I'm thinking of getting him a wheelchair. But I don't think I can take it, not yet at least. Baka lalo siyang manghina.
Ito na ata ang pinakamasakit na experyensya ng buhay ko. Makita ang tatay ko na parang nauupos. It took a lot of courage and strength to go about my day to day routine while there's constant fear in my heart. Thank god thats over. Still a bit sad that things have definitely changed due to his weakness. Dati rati I can ask him to cook, to fix my watch or shoes, kasi thats his way of passing the time sa house. To do things for us. Now I can see that the mind is willing but the flesh is weak. Nagpasama si Jet sa clinic for a check up. Pag balik nila sa house, mas worried pa ako kay dad kesa kay Jet, kasi halos d na siya makatayo sa pagod sa konting pag-lakad. But nevertheless I'm still thankful. He's a lot better now than when he was in the hospital.
Siyempre mas morbid na ako ngayon than ever before. More praning, more exagg when it comes to daddy. I know its not a healthy way to go about it, but that is me. I woke up today to a silent house. Nakakanibago cause its so silent. Living in a very tiny house, you know everything that everyone is doing. I knew they all went out to go somewhere, but affected ako sa silence. The sofa where Jet sleeps was fixed, which seemed like he didn't go home. My mom's stuff were on the bed, obviously she went out again to go to Divi or Baclaran. Breakfast was left for me on the table na so halatang walang tao. Super lonely. Then, I saw a note under the plate. "Went to SM to buy medecine" - Daddy. Wala siyang connection pero bigla akong umiyak. Parang the world gave me a taste of how things will be when I'm all alone. Waaah. Buti nalang bigla na siyang pumasok ng door, so nahulasan ako.
Hay, you're so morbid trace.
Sige lets trace the events. Mag daddy events muna tayo for today.
GREATEST FEAR talaga. But ok na siya. His appetite is back and can walk a bit, short distances. I'm thinking of getting him a wheelchair. But I don't think I can take it, not yet at least. Baka lalo siyang manghina.
Ito na ata ang pinakamasakit na experyensya ng buhay ko. Makita ang tatay ko na parang nauupos. It took a lot of courage and strength to go about my day to day routine while there's constant fear in my heart. Thank god thats over. Still a bit sad that things have definitely changed due to his weakness. Dati rati I can ask him to cook, to fix my watch or shoes, kasi thats his way of passing the time sa house. To do things for us. Now I can see that the mind is willing but the flesh is weak. Nagpasama si Jet sa clinic for a check up. Pag balik nila sa house, mas worried pa ako kay dad kesa kay Jet, kasi halos d na siya makatayo sa pagod sa konting pag-lakad. But nevertheless I'm still thankful. He's a lot better now than when he was in the hospital.
Siyempre mas morbid na ako ngayon than ever before. More praning, more exagg when it comes to daddy. I know its not a healthy way to go about it, but that is me. I woke up today to a silent house. Nakakanibago cause its so silent. Living in a very tiny house, you know everything that everyone is doing. I knew they all went out to go somewhere, but affected ako sa silence. The sofa where Jet sleeps was fixed, which seemed like he didn't go home. My mom's stuff were on the bed, obviously she went out again to go to Divi or Baclaran. Breakfast was left for me on the table na so halatang walang tao. Super lonely. Then, I saw a note under the plate. "Went to SM to buy medecine" - Daddy. Wala siyang connection pero bigla akong umiyak. Parang the world gave me a taste of how things will be when I'm all alone. Waaah. Buti nalang bigla na siyang pumasok ng door, so nahulasan ako.
Hay, you're so morbid trace.
posted by toyourthink @ 9:39 PM
6 Comments
